{"id":10970,"date":"2016-02-10T05:14:37","date_gmt":"2016-02-10T10:14:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dougbittinger.com\/thoughts\/?p=10970"},"modified":"2025-04-21T01:56:38","modified_gmt":"2025-04-21T05:56:38","slug":"valentine-tech-support","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/valentine-tech-support\/","title":{"rendered":"Valentine’s Day Tech Support"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"valentineValentine’s Day is just around the corner and I came across this humorous look at romance and marriage that melds l’amour and technology.\u00a0 I did not create this (I don’t know who did) but decided I’d share it with you.\u00a0 Enjoy!<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Tech Support,<\/p>\n

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance \u2014 particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.<\/p>\n

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.<\/p>\n

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.5 simply crashes the system. I\u2019ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.<\/p>\n

What can I do?<\/p>\n

Signed,
\nDesperate<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dear Desperate:<\/p>\n

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: \u201chttp: I Thought You Loved Me.htm\u201d and try to download Tears 6.2.\u00a0 Don\u2019t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.<\/p>\n

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.<\/p>\n

But remember, over-use of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background, that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).<\/p>\n

Also, do not attempt to install the Boyfriend 6.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.<\/p>\n

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9<\/p>\n

Good Luck,
\nTech Support<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and I came across this humorous look at romance and marriage that melds l’amour and technology.  I did not create this (I don’t know who did) but decided I’d share it with you.  Enjoy! Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and … Continue reading “Valentine’s Day Tech Support”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[15],"class_list":["post-10970","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life","tag-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10970","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10970"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10970\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20300,"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10970\/revisions\/20300"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10970"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10970"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10970"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}