Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight “safety\u00a0lecture” and announcements a bit more entertaining than most. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:<\/p>\n
—o0o—<\/p>\n On another flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew, the pilot\u00a0said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be\u00a0turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the\u00a0appearance of your flight attendants.” \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n —-o0o—<\/p>\n On landing, the stewardess said, “Please be sure to take all of your\u00a0belongings. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it’s\u00a0something we’d like to have.”<\/p>\n —-o0o—<\/p>\n “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways\u00a0out of this airplane.” “Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business\u00a0as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”<\/p>\n —o0o—<\/p>\n As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport, a lone\u00a0voice came over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella. WHOA!”<\/p>\n —o0o–<\/p>\n —o0o—<\/p>\n From a Kulula employee: ” Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth.\u00a0To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and\u00a0pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don’t\u00a0know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public\u00a0unsupervised.”<\/p>\n —o0o—<\/p>\n “In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend\u00a0from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your\u00a0face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. \u00a0If you are traveling with more than one\u00a0small child, pick your favorite.”<\/p>\n —o0o—<\/p>\n Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds,\u00a0but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and\u00a0remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines.”<\/p>\n —-o0o—<\/p>\n “Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an\u00a0emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with\u00a0our compliments.”<\/p>\n —o0o— —o0o—<\/p>\n And from the pilot during his welcome message: “Kulula Airlines is\u00a0pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants\u00a0in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight.”<\/p>\n —o0o—<\/p>\n Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town: The\u00a0flight attendant came on the intercom and said, “That was quite a bump\u00a0and I know what y’all are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s\u00a0fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault, it\u00a0was the asphalt.”<\/p>\n —o0o—<\/p>\n —o0o—<\/p>\n Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing:\u00a0“We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo\u00a0bounces us to the terminal.”<\/p>\n —o0o—<\/p>\n An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered\u00a0his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which\u00a0required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers\u00a0exited, smile, and give them a “Thanks for flying our airline. He said\u00a0that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the\u00a0passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.\u00a0Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking\u00a0with a cane. She said, “Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?” —o0o—<\/p>\n —o0o—<\/p>\n Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank\u00a0you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the\u00a0insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal\u00a0tube, we hope you’ll think of Kulula Airways.”<\/p>\n —o0o—<\/p>\n Heard on a Kulula flight. “Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to\u00a0smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing … If\u00a0you can light ’em, you can smoke ’em.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Recently a video of a flight attendant’s humorous safety lecture has been making the rounds of social media and she even appeared on a morning talk show. But she is not a pioneer in this realm. Kulula Airlines is a low cost airline with its head office situated in Johannesburg. Kulula airline attendants make an … Continue reading “Flights of Humor”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[15],"class_list":["post-6889","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life","tag-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6889","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6889"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6889\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19668,"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6889\/revisions\/19668"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6889"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6889"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pineymountainfoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6889"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"humorous](\"http:\/\/PineyMountainFoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-content\/uploads\/Kulula-9.jpg\")
<\/a>
\nOn Kulula flights there is no assigned seating: you just sit where\u00a0you want.\u00a0 On one flight passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, “People, people we’re not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!”<\/p>\n
\n—o0o—<\/p>\n![\"flight](\"http:\/\/PineyMountainFoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-content\/uploads\/Kulula-2.jpg\")
<\/a>After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo, a\u00a0flight attendant on a flight announced, “Please take care when opening\u00a0the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as\u00a0hell everything has shifted.”<\/p>\n
\n“As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.\u00a0Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight\u00a0attendants. \u00a0Please do not leave children or spouses.”<\/p>\n![\"flight](\"http:\/\/PineyMountainFoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-content\/uploads\/Kulula-4.jpg\")
<\/a>Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town on a particularly windy\u00a0and bumpy day.\u00a0 During the final approach, the Captain really had to\u00a0fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said,\u00a0\u00a0“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain\u00a0\u00a0in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis\u00a0what’s left of our airplane to the gate!”<\/p>\n
\n“Why, no Ma’am,” said the pilot. “What is it?”
\nThe little old lady said,\u00a0“Did we land, or were we shot down?”<\/p>\n![\"Kulula](\"http:\/\/PineyMountainFoster.org\/thoughts\/wp-content\/uploads\/Kulula-6.jpg\")
<\/a>After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg, the attendant came\u00a0on with, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain\u00a0Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against\u00a0the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are\u00a0silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the\u00a0wreckage to the terminal.”<\/p>\n