A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax.
Paraprosdokian Phrases
Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Ø If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Ø War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Ø Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
Ø Some people are like Slinkys … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”.
Ø I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Ø You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Ø Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
Great stuff! The first one works for me. All too often my experience, especially when I was teacher.
LOL Hopefully you learned the lesson quickly, Richard, less time wasted that way.
Love these, and never knew until now what they were called. Heck, I never knew they had a name.
Now you know! Thanks for stopping by, Chris.
ooooo…I wanna play with this one. I love a lot of them, but esp the next to last. Can I steal that?
The best thing about ideas, Stu, is that they’re like bread starter dough; you can divide the lump to share it and not run out, the more you share it the more there is. Feel free to slice off a chunk and let it build into a loaf all your own. I look forward to seeing what you do with it.
These are awesome, especially now that I know there’s a name for this sort of thing! ;p
A Paraprosdokian by any other name would… nah, that just doesn’t read well. Thanks for stopping by, Adriene.
Oh, I like those. A lot.
Fun aren’t they? Thanks for visiting, Mary.