This article will once again begin by digging into my bottomless barrel of Old Sayings; the offering this time:
“Opinions are like bellybuttons; everyone has one, but some are more worthy of public display than others.”
I am, I must confess Dear Reader, one of those people who has an opinion on just about everything and feels compelled to share it. Oh, you too? Fancy that! It is a great thing when our opinions about something mesh and we can celebrate or commiserate the topic together. But what happens when we disagree?
All too often opposing opinions result in arguments, fist fights, even wars being fought. And why? Because the parties held differing opinions? Life is so much simpler if we can avoid open hostilities in our dealings with others.
Why is it that we hold so tightly to our own opinions as indisputable truth, and yet the opinions of others are mere fancy? Why do people HAVE differing opinions in the first place? If something is true for me, it’s true for you too, isn’t it? Not at all!
The Opinion Factory
You see our opinions are formed by the experiences of our own individual life. The opinions your parents and grandparents had will have rubbed off on you, the environment you were raised in, the schools you went to, whether or not you were ever bitten by a dog, or burned by a hot pot, enjoyed the taste of butter brickle ice cream, felt the sting of racial or sexual discrimination or were chastised for being tall or short or… well you get the idea.
The path I have walked through life is probably vastly different from the one you walked. Therefore what you experienced and how it affected you will be different from what I experienced. Your experiences and familial history formed certain perceptions in your mind. These will be different from those I formed.
“If we could read the secret histories of our enemies we should find sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.” – Longfellow
Why Do Opinions Matter?
I love dark chocolate. You may hate it. Would it be right for me to call you names and tell you that you’re wrong if you disagree with me? No; it’s your opinion and you are entitled to it. It is different from mine, but no less valid.
Most people could probably agree to disagree over an issue like chocolate. But what about deeper issues; politics, religion, socio-economic issues, is peanut butter better than chocolate? Oh, wait, we’re back to chocolate again, sorry.
Are these issues really any different? Whether I vote Republican, Democrat or Independent has largely the same root cause as whether I prefer dark chocolate, milk chocolate or white chocolate. It’s all based on my past experiences, my perceptions of those experiences and the consequences of those experiences.
Your experiences, perceptions and consequences are likely different from mine, so it is only to be expected that you might have drawn different conclusions than I have. Does that make you wrong? Does it make me wrong? Or does it just make us different?
Different is Just a Lack of Sameness
Different is good. If we were all just alike this world would be an incredibly boring place. I am so glad that we have tall people and short people and in between people. I’m glad we have thin people and um… not so thin people. I’m glad we have black, white, yellow, red, brown and blue people. People of all sorts of persuasions and opinions and talents. It all adds to the diversity of life.
I may not agree with some choices you‘ve made, some opinions you hold, but they are your choices and your opinions, formed from your own life experiences. You came to them the same way I came to mine and therefore they are no less valid.
Recognizing that we will not be able to be in perfect agreement with everyone we meet, and not letting that lack of agreement turn into hostility, is one of the best ways I know to keep life simple.
You are you and I am me. He is he and she is she. Let’s agree to disagree and just let it be. (and no, that’s not considered poetry!)
