The Adventures of Pizza Dude: The Itemizer

While the title of this story may sound like that of some hip new TV crime drama, it is in fact the name of the latest addition to my Adventures of Pizza Dude series where I reminisce over one of the jobs I held long ago.  Past episodes include Road Warrior, Phone Person, and Skin Flinger, feel free to check them out if you enjoy this one and haven’t read the others before.

After the Skin Flinger does his or her thing, the pizza in-process comes down the make line to have sauce, cheese and toppings added.  Our make line was a large, refrigerated, stainless steel affair with a rack made of steel tubes along the front edge for the pizza (on a steel mesh baking screen) to slide along and an array of bins or tubs behind that contained the makings.  Trays under the rack would catch the off-falls and could be pulled out for periodic emptying (recovery or disposal) and cleaning.

The first stop is the sauce & cheese station.  On busy nights one person did just sauce and cheese while the other added toppings.  On really slow nights one pizza maker would do everything from dough-ball to box & route.  We used a large stainless steel spoon to put the proper amount of sauce on the pizza crust and spread it, using the back of the spoon in circular motions.  The idea here is to get the proper amount of sauce applied evenly to the pizza for best flavor and prevent burning (bald spots will overheat and burn).

Then the pizza maker reaches into a tub of grated cheese, grabs a double-handful and sprinkles it over the sauce.  This was actually accomplished with a quick, circular flip of each wrist, letting the cheese flow between your fingers for an even spread.  It took some artistry to get this right, and of course the cheese had to be kept cold or it would clump up and make this neigh impossible.

The final step for this position was to run your fingers around the circumference of the pizza, under the dough to flip any cheese bits that are on the un-sauced rim of the pizza inward so they don’t burn.  We want to leave a rim of just crust so it will rise a little more than the rest and form a convenient “handle” for the pizza aficionado as he or she enjoys the results of our labor.

Let’s step aside for a moment and look at portion control.  Obviously, any food service industry must find the sweet-spot where cost effectiveness is balanced with quality of product.  Skimp on ingredients and the pizza will be a disappointment to the customer, (habitually) over-itemize and the company’s profit margin plunges.

As I was searching for videos that illustrate the processes I am describing here, I noticed that most have gone to measuring scoops and measured quantities.  Some vids show the use of a cheesing machine, where a scoop of cheese is poured in the top and a button pushed to distribute the cheese across the skin.  In my day, this whole process was far more artistic, we judged by eye and feel if the portions were correct.  Usage was tracked daily by management who used mathematical formulas (actually they used tables based on mathematical formulas) to determine if our usage of each ingredient was in line with the number of pizzas served. Excessive portioning was reason enough to hold a pizza maker back when handing out raises and promotions, so aside from personal pride in our work, we had added incentive to do well.

When adding toppings to a pizza, the itemizer must first consider what will go onto the pizza, for certain things need to go in certain layers.  Pre-cooked meats like ham, bacon bits and pepperoni need only to get hot, they could be eaten as they are; further cooking was not required.  These could go on the bottom and be just fine.  Vegetables go next (this would include pineapple, which is not a vegetable but we’ll just ignore that fact for now, OK?).  On top, exposed to the greatest heat, we want our raw meat products like sausage and ground beef.  If extra cheese was ordered, a half-portion of cheese was sprinkled over the top of all. Double cheese was, of course, a double portion, which tended to get pretty sloppy.

Most of these things were sliced, diced or bits and application was a matter of reaching into the bin, grabbing a handful and quickly arranging them on the pie.  Sausage and ground beef were different.  Some places (Pizza Hut used to do this, maybe still does) will cook their sausage and ground beef and apply the resulting crumbly bits to the pizza.  Most pizza places offer “balls” of sausage and beef.  Achieving this was a little tricky.

In your left hand, you grab a hand-full of the sausage, how much you grab depends on the size of your hand and how practiced you are at this.  The process is to wrap your fingers around this gooey ball of raw ground meat and squeeze from the bottom up to extrude a little meat above your curled index finger, then pinch off the ball with your thumb by sliding it back along your index finger.  With your right hand you snatch the sausage ball, and fling it into position on the pizza.  Proper portion control was paramount, but you also wanted to achieve meat balls of consistent size, and that size was to be one where the meat would not dry out and burn but neither would it be uncooked in the middle.  The size of a regular marble was about right.  Then of course you want to achieve an even distribution of the sausage balls so your customers won’t be fighting over the one slice with three sausage balls when all the rest have only one.  You definitely don’t want to be the instigator of sausage related homicide!

This raw meat was sticky, especially the sausage, and the pizza maker had to clean his hands after each application (or at least periodically on a really busy night).  There was no sink in the pizza making area, so we used those large, heavy terry cloth towels, wetted with soapy water for this.  One would be kept clipped to the make counter at the end of the make line and changed out as needed.  At the end of a busy night we’d have a whole bag of these grungy, nasty, meat encrusted towels to send off to the laundry service – I can only imagine what they thought of those!

Itemizing a pizza was the most “artistic” aspect of this job.  I had to balance speed against appearance and portion control.  We could sauce and cheese a skin every 5 seconds (or less) and produce a normal pizza (sauce to finish with 5 toppings or so) every 30 seconds.  And we took great pride in the appearance of these pizzas, so we could not get away with a toss & run technique, the manager saw to that.

I have not done production pizza work in several decades, but Marie and I like to make our own pizza using fresh ingredients, mostly vegetables from our garden.  We find that our home made pizzas are much more flavorful than commercial pizza.  Others I know – like Melinda from Finding the Humor – agree; she says even if her crusts come out lumpy and misshapen, her family appreciates her efforts and enjoys the freshly made product.  Even if you’re not up to making pizza dough from scratch, you can try your hand by starting with a pre-made crust.  Boboli makes a great whole grain crust if you like thick pizza, several companies offer frozen crusts that are made with minimal “bad stuff” and in a variety of dough types for regular crusts.  Most can be placed right on the center rack of your oven for baking, but I suggest laying a cookie sheet or piece of aluminum foil on the rack below to catch any drips.  With a little practice you too can be a Pizza Dude (or Dudette) and impressing your family and friends with fresh-made pizza.  Give it a try!

The video I was using as a good example got taken down, so this is kinda close.  The make line is similar, the technique is similar, but he only does single ingredient pizzas.

Do you eat delivery pizza?  If so, who makes your favorite?  Have you tried making your own?

Ready to toss another episode onto your experience?

http://dougbittinger.com/thoughts/pizza-dude-hot-stuff/