HairyFace was in the food room fixing bacon and eggs for breakfast because it was breakfast time and the food room is where Peoples fix food. Usually. Sometimes NiceLady fixes food in the picture-box watching room using the box of fire in the wall. But that’s only when it’s cold, and only on occasion.

We like bacon and eggs. He gives each of us a little on our kibbles when the Peoples get bacon and eggs for breakfast. Hairy was by the food-cooker-thing. He pealed off a few strips of bacon and put them on the flat pan. He set the rest of the bacon aside while he poured egg stuff into the pan with sides. NiceLady was by the food vault at the other end of the counter, doing something. She opened the food vault door.

Hairy turned to put the rest of the brand new package of bacon back into the food vault, but it wasn’t where he left it. He assumed Lady had put it away for him since she was in there. He went back to cooking.

The Heist

Moments later, Hairy heard me talking softly (but in a scolding way) in the picture-box watching room and turned to see what was going on. He spotted Buddy Beagle on one of the snuggle beds, greedily gnawing on a WHOLE POUND of raw bacon!

Somehow the scamp had managed, even wearing that huge collar of his, to slip in between HairyFace and NiceLady (who were only about two BigDog lengths apart), snatch that package of bacon off the counter, and run to the other room with it.

I was telling Buddy that that was very bad behavior: good dogs do not take food off the counters. But as long as he already did it, he’d better be planning to share with me!

I’ll give my Peoples the benefit of the doubt in that it was early and they hadn’t had much coffee yet. For some reason, coffee seems to be as important to them as our beef sticks are to us dogs in the early morning. I don’t understand that: that coffee stuff smells awful to me, but I love my Peoples so I let them have it.

The Recovery

HairyFace rushed in, scolded Buddy and took the bacon from him. He waved it at NiceLady and told her what had happened. They were both disappointed in Buddy. Buddy just said, “What? I’m HUNGRY!” He doesn’t get it yet that there are rules about such behavior. He has learned some of the house rules, but not that one. Not yet.

Hairy examined the remains of the bacon and declared it unfit for human consumption, but he wasn’t about to just throw it away. He had a plan for it, wrapped it up and put it in the food vault, then finished fixing breakfast.

The Bacon Redemption

Sometimes HairyFace makes dog treats for us. He has made Cheesy Cookies and he has made Peanut Butter Cookies. NiceLady found a recipe for sweet potato and bacon cookies, but they haven’t made those yet. Hairy figured this bacon could be used to make those.

Later, Hairy got out the big heavy pan, cut that stolen slab of bacon into chunks and cooked the whole thing at once.

IT SMELLED WONDERFUL!

Our whole pack was salivating and eagerly awaiting bowl-fulls of bacon as a snack.

It seemed to take forever, but he finally spooned the bacon out of the grease to drain. It was time! It was time!

When it cooled — he put the bacon in a jar and stuck it in the top of the FOOD VAULT!

What? No, wait! You’re supposed to give that to US!

We all grumped about it, but he said, “I’m not making cookies today. This is for making cookies. You’ll get no contraband bacon today. Go about your business, there’s nothing more to see here.”

I am definitely calling my Dogressman and filing a complaint about this. Making us watch while he cooked all that bacon, then not giving us any! Well … okay, he didn’t MAKE us watch, we could have gone outside, but still!